How To Remember To Be Sociable

How To Remember To Be Sociable

I recently wrote a post on how to be alone. Being alone is something I excel at, whereas being sociable is a skill I’m still working on begrudgingly. Spending time on your own as an introvert is addictive. I not only crave it, I firmly believe I need it to function. And that’s why sometimes I really have to remind myself to be sociable.

I find conversation difficult. I’m not a chatter and I don’t command attention when I walk into a room. I much prefer to listen than talk and I would always prefer a good book over a night out so I’m often of the belief that a social event that doesn’t include me looks pretty much the same one as one which does include me.

But as I’ve got older, I’ve realised that socialising is actually quite important. Gone are the days of having a set of school friends that you see every single day. Sometimes socialising is the only time you actually see your friends. In all honesty, socialising is something that I tend to forget to do. It’s not a priority to me. So with that in mind, I’ve created some rules to help me be more sociable.

Compromise

I hate going on nights out but my friends love it, so every once in a while I’ll say yes. I try to focus on the idea that it’s the company that I’ll be enjoying even if the activity wouldn’t be my first choice. Making friends and keeping them is hard as an adult so don’t lose friends just because you don’t always want to do the same social activities.

Be the initiator

Without sounding incredibly selfish, I find that the times that are easiest for me to socialise are when I’ve picked the activity. Doing this actually works in an introvert’s favour. I don’t like going to clubs or shopping with other people (just the thought of that makes me shudder) but I love going to a coffee shop for a chat or going on a country walk with friends. If you initiate the activity then you’re much more likely to go and not just spend all day in your pjs reading in bed.

Find a hobby which forces you to socialise

When I started blogging, I had no idea that it would open up a whole world of opportunities and events. I thought that blogging was a completely solitary activity, one which I’d never be able to talk about with anyone because how was I going to meet other bloggers when we’re all sitting at a desk type away to no one in particular? But, I was so wrong. Getting invited to events has forced me to socialise and to make new friends who like the same things I do. Miraculously, a solo hobby like blogging has helped me realise that I don’t actually hate socialising.

Don’t pressure yourself

Don’t make yourself feel bad when you don’t want to socialise. My battery quickly runs down when I’m around others and I need all the alone time I can get to charge it up again. So don’t feel like saying no to social events makes you a bad person, we all need time to ourselves, just some of us need it more than others.

Stop believing that your input isn’t worthy

I am always of the belief that I don’t really have anything useful to add to a conversation which is why I stay quiet a lot of the time. As a result, it puts me off from socialising too much. I used to think that my presence wasn’t needed at social events so I just wouldn’t go. But I’m slowly learning that that isn’t the case. Everyone has something to give, so stop believing that your input isn’t justified.

Do you find it easy to socialise? Or is it something you have to work at? Let me know in the comments!

Rachel x-x-x

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3 Comments

  1. Anna
    October 27, 2017 / 11:09 am

    Thank you so much for writing this post! I am also an introvert and find it extremely hard to socialize, also I don’t have that many friends and they all live quite far from me so that makes socializing even harder! However, I do try my best to go out every now and then, not to clubs because that is not my thing but I go to concerts and meet my friends there and I also spend time with my uni friends during lunch breaks or going out to the city every now and then.
    Again, I totally relate to this post, especially to the not believing I have something worth saying and I also tend to pressure myself and overthink everything. I’m trying my best to change that though! And I’d love to live in the UK so I could go to blogger events and meet fellow bloggers, I know it’d make me anxious at first but I know I’d have a good time.
    Sorry this was such a long comment lol
    Anna x | http://www.dropsofanna.blogspot.com

  2. November 4, 2017 / 11:12 pm

    I totally agree with you that it’s easiest to socialize when you organize it. It helps me be in the head space to socialize and have my alone time planned accordingly. Plus, you do pick the activity so you know you won’t feel like you’re being dragged along. It took a long time for me to get comfortable asking people to hang out because I felt like if they wanted to hang out with me they’d ask. I’ve found often people are willing to hang out though! Yayyy. These are all great tips, Rachel! Great post.

    xx

    Breanna Catharina
    toocuteforlife.com

  3. November 6, 2017 / 11:39 am

    I loved this, Rachel! I have felt and experienced all of these points on more than one occasion, and totally agree with all of them. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of watching stuff on Netflix, reading books and then accidentally not leaving the house as it’s been the last thing on your mind. I’m quite lucky in that I have friends that will get in touch to arrange meeting up, but I do find that initiating something can often be the best way forward! xxx

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