Dear 2018,

As Kylie Jenner put so eloquently two years that 2016 was going to be the year of realising stuff, 2018 has been my realising things year. At the beginning of 2018 I wrote myself six goals in the front of my Fearne Cotton Happy Journal.

  1. I will become a registered mental health nurse.
  2. I will get married.
  3. I will get a great job.
  4. I will run 10K.
  5. I will move to a new area.
  6. I will go abroad.

I remember almost scoffing at some of the goals, because none of them seemed difficult. In fact, I thought I’d gone pretty easy on myself for the year but 2018 had different plans for me.

  1. I will become a registered mental health nurse.
    Tick. Although this certainly wasn’t easy, I was pretty confident that I would manage this one and I did, finishing university in September and graduating in December. I am a nurse and that still feels incredibly bizarre to say.

  2. I will get married.
    Oh naive January Rachel, this one also seemed pretty easy. There was a date, a venue and a dress but what I learned this year was that it doesn’t really matter how concrete plans are, life throws curveballs and it’s totally possible to come out of a shitty situation unscathed and stronger. I also learnt that maybe I don’t want the married, house, kids dream that most people are aiming for at my age and that’s okay!
  3. I will get a great job.
    Tick. I never thought I’d be one of those people who said that they truly love their job but it turns out that I got a really incredible job this year. I took a job that I wasn’t sure about. I’m one of the most risk averse people usually, but this one has paid off!
  4. I will run a 10k.
    This one was a firm no. In fact, I’m not sure I ran more than 10 times this year. Why? Because I decided that I actually hate running. This year I took up pilates and yoga and found that it’s much easier to do an activity you enjoy. Goodbye 10k, you are not a goal that I’ll ever regret not managing to do.

  5. I will move to a new area.
    Tick. After finishing uni, I had pretty solid plans to move to the South of the country and by South, I meant Brighton. Once again, life had other ideas and I ended up South, but South West, starting a new life in Somerset. It certainly wasn’t what I had in mind and I can’t say that I was particularly receptive to moving to a 100,000 population sized town in the middle of kind of nowhere, but here I am and I haven’t complained about it in at least a month. Life is full of (good) surprises.
  6. I will go abroad.
    Tick. California, Köln and Berlin were totally unexpected holidays this year that just kind of happened and made up some of my best memories this year. Hopefully I can add a few more to my travel list in 2019.

    2018 has been the biggest year of twists and turns and laughs and cries and though I don’t think I’ll be sad to see it go, I can truly say it’s been the year of realising things.

Rachel x-x-x


Slowing Life Down

Life has been zipping by for me lately. I can’t believe we’re already two weeks into the new year and I don’t feel like I’ve had a second to myself. Whether it’s because I’ve not been making time or the opportunity just hasn’t arisen for a good soak in the bath with a book and a glass of wine, things need to change.

Last year I really bought into the idea of slow living. I made more time for me, reflected on my hopes and dreams, practiced mindfulness and yoga and really made an effort to do more of the things that make me happy, and less of the stuff that doesn’t.

This year, however, I haven’t really thought about the things I want to do more and less of, until now, and in true blogger style, I’m sharing it with you.

More Books

Every year I try and read as much as possible and this year is no exception. In 2017 I read a total of 54 books but this year I want to beat that. After being a little bit of a YA snob for the last few years, I’m wanting to delve more into that genre, as well as trying out some new genres that I’ve never really read before.

If you want to be my friend on Goodreads I will happily accept. Find me here!

Less Stress

I’m not very good with stress. I keep it all tightly packed in my head until things become too much and I have to lie face down on the floor until it subsides. You get me? I want to continue with the meditation I was doing last year and get back into yoga. It’s so perfect for those moments when you need to get out of your own head.

More Sleep

Sleep and I have never been friends. Most nights I lie awake unable to fall asleep and on the rare occasions that I do nod off quickly, I wake up in the night. Turns out waking up 5 times a night isn’t normal which is something I only learnt last months, oops. I stick to my bedtime routine, I don’t go on my computer any less than an hour before bed and I try to wake up at the same time every day so if anyone has any tips on sleeping, I’m all ears!

Less Caffeine

I know, mad, right? Who am I without caffeine? Two years ago I cut sugar from my hot drinks and now the time has come to cut the caffeine. As much as I love coffee, I hate being reliant on caffeine and I feel it so badly in a morning when I’m desperate for a mug the second I get up.

At the moment I usually drink 3 cups of coffee a day but I’d like to get rid of that first morning one to help myself wake up more naturally. Realistically I’ll probably just switch to decaf because I’m still really going to need that tasty coffee fix.

More Writing

The final thing I want to do more of is writing. I’ve being trying to get back into journalling for some time now, nothing fancy, just getting my thoughts down on paper every day. But I’ve been struggling to get into a routine. Do you write in the morning or at night? Let me know what works for you!

I’m also wanting to write some more fiction. After taking part in NaNoWriMo last year, I’ve really got the bug for creative writing so I’m hoping some great ideas pop into my head soonish!

What are you trying to do less and more of in 2018? Let me know the comments!

Rachel x-x-x





Revisiting Goals

For the last however many years of my life, I’ve made ridiculous New Year’s Resolutions that I would never have been able to keep, like running a 10k with absolutely no real interest in running one, learning a new language (I think I’ll just stick to the 4 I already know) and visiting new countries (with no income).

In 2017 I didn’t make any specific resolutions, instead I chose some vague goals so let’s revisit them and see how I did, shall we? Click here to read my post “Resolving To Be Happy.”

2017’s resolutions were the following:

  • Challenge myself
  • Go to the gym
  • Write a diary
  • Be a nicer person

Challenge Myself

I’m giving myself a huge pat on the back for this. I gave presentations, went to blog events, made new friends and joined the gym. I’ve challenged myself a lot this year and I’m so much more confident for it.

Go To The Gym

The start of the year didn’t go well for this goal but I joined the gym in July and haven’t looked back since. I’ve even been to classes (a concept which fills me with dread) and they weren’t as bad as I was expecting. I’ve really loved the gym as a way to relax and get out of my head, especially after busy placement days and I hope this goal carries well into 2018. Also doing that wedding thing so got to look fit!

Write A Diary

Maybe the less said about this one, the better? I did not keep this resolution at all. I wrote sporadically across the year, trying to fill my diary in with the months it had missed out on. But I generally only went to it when I wanted to vent, so it’s basically a book filled with angry paragraphs. I’d love to make this a more regular activity but I don’t really enjoy it that much and I tend to reflect a lot as it is, without writing things down. Maybe next year I could try a weekly diary entry as a compromise?

Be A Nicer Person

This year I’ve been a lot more mindful about my interactions with people. I’ve worked hard on being less jealous, being more empathetic and reaching out to people more. Over the past year I’ve really let go of some of the grudges I’ve been holding for too long and things feel so much better without them.

Overall, I think I’ve stuck to my 2017 goals reasonably well so let’s hope 2018 is just as successful!

Rachel x-x-x



Inane Ramblings and a Quarter Life Crisis

Today I nearly applied for 2 jobs: one at GCHQ and one for a coffee retailer.

That probably doesn’t sound that strange except that I’m halfway through my second degree, training to be a nurse. But you see, I was having a panic.

Every day I go to placement and hear how disillusioned NHS healthcare workers are. They don’t get paid enough for their time, the caseloads are huge and your requests for flexitime working are rejected at every turn.

I’m worried I’m getting disillusioned before my career even starts. And when I think about the job I want in the end, it panics me that that probably won’t be achievable for another 5 or 6 years. I’ll be 30 by then.

You only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough.

So then I start to think maybe this isn’t what I want.

But what do I want?

I would love to be self employed, maybe blog full time. Or I’d like to be a writer. But I really do want to be a nurse and eventually a psychotherapist.

And I want to be home enough to have dogs that I can walk and spend lots of time with which isn’t going to be all that viable as a nurse.

So is that what I want?

I also want to be able to read as many books as I can, travel as far and wide as possible, eat at all the local and far away restaurants and build my own house.

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Are these dreams or goals?

I think what I’m trying to say is that I’m scared that I won’t be able to achieve everything that I want to in this lifetime and that I’m not sure what I want careerwise. And is that okay? To not know what I want? Is this purely a ‘millennial’ issue? We have a lot of choices now but somehow that only makes it harder.

Most people that I know are in graduate schemes, saving up enough money for their first deposit and working every day. And as much as I’d like to be in their shoes, I’m also not sure I would?

If you’ve read this then thanks because I’m not really sure where I was going with it other than to share that I’m just really not sure what I want out of life yet. If you can relate to this, leave me a comment so we can all panic together!

Rachel x-x-x